Eid.

Mea culpa. I almost forgot - Abdul, Elie, John, I herewith officially wish you a joyous holiday.

Tom Lockwood CD.

Tom just finished his newest CD, and, since I played on several tracks, was kind enough to give me a copy for Xmas (gratis, that is). So, New Year's resolution number 2: Listen to said CD!

My Sound Bites.

Altogether a good pun for a musician, I'd say...
Anyhoo - I realized a long time ago that I tend to capsulize my thoughts into the equivalent of "sound bites". They're convenient because they represent (to me) my entire thought process, and they are easy to reference as a point of departure for explanations. Not that I often get requests for explanations, as some the "bites" tend to be, shall we say, contentious. That being said by way of caveat, here's another one:

submission -> suppression -> oppression

Islamic fundamentalism (in all its versions) follows this path rather unfortunately well.
Go ahead now, ask me to explain.

Gunny Link, Site Link, Quote!

For those of you looking for once-fired brass in the US (you know who you are), here's a link for you: it's Brass World. Lots of goodies to reload.
https://ssl.perfora.net/www.brassworldonline.org/sess/utn;jsessionid=15459820d69d96a/shopdata/index.shopscript
I just wish there was the equivalent in Canada.
Then there's this little blog - well-balanced and observant, especially concerning Lebanon, a country which obviously holds a special place in his heart: http://www.michaeltotten.com/
And finally a little quote which in many ways sums up what I personally feel:

"Everybody dies. Die standing up!"
--From the movie "Red Dawn"

Xmas Happiness is....

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

- George Burns

This quote thanks to http://www.samizdata.net/blog/
It's cute and typical of George, but it certainly isn't true. At least not for me. A family of six, currently in four different locations is not something I really enjoy. Ah well.

Showbiz Story - Milton Berle

The late Uncle Milty (who I worked with on several occasions) was a perfectionist of sorts, but also had a substantial ego. And he had curious ways of making sure everyone knew how "expert" he was.
One of his tricks: Milty would walk into the band rehearsal, usually about 2 hours into the rehearsal, and stop the band in the middle of a particular number. (I don't remember which one it was now.) He would immediately point to the 3rd trumpet, and loudly announce that he had played a wrong note, and that the correct note at measure such-and-such was a B natural (or whatever - the exact note escapes me now). Sure enough, there was an error in the part, and the correct note was as specified by Uncle Milty. Pretty impressive - this guy really knows his own material!
Of course, it was a set-up. A year later, when I was playing the same show, and the same music, the same procedure took place. Scripted to the letter!
The chart was intentionally left with the mistake uncorrected so that Berle could demonstrate his command to all and sundry at the rehearsal.
Nice con job. And I think I may be one of the very few people that actually caught him at it. Other than his Music Director, who at the time was Leonard Sues, the trumpet player. He knew perfectly well what the scam was, but Berle paid him a lot, and he kept his mouth shut.

ShowBiz Stories - in the pipe.

Many a time, I have been told that I should write a book about my experiences in the music business, and some of the people I have known and worked with. Many of the names would be well-known, some not so much. I have always had 2 reactions to this - "Who, me?" and "I would probably get sued!" There could be some truth to that second one.
Brings to mind a little of Pete Barbutti: He used to do a comedy routine about Allegheny Airlines, that was very funny, but, shall we say, could be construed as somewhat less than complimentary. And people would ask "Aren't you afraid of getting sued?" His answer was: "That's a two-part question. No, I'm not afraid. And Yes, I'm being sued." (Note that he did change the name of the airline later on. I was never sure if in fact he was sued. Pete drew a lot from personal experiences for his comedy, one of the things that made him hilarious for musicians - he was/is also a fine piano player.)
With that as a preface, I give fair warning that I will be posting various and sundry stories, observations and opinions about the characters I have known over the years in the music profession. (Of course starting with the one above about Pete, one of the great talented guys on the comedy profession.)

Love and Submission

In this time of differences, some drastic, some hostile, some more gentle, a thought passes me:
Love gives joy. Submission gives ....
Just an observation.

Here's a little something from Geek Gab (who has the wonderful virtue of being also a Canuck like yours truly) , with my answers as they came to me:

I say … and you think … ?

1. Hardball :: Cricket (ever been hit by a cricket ball?)
2. Sleepless :: Night
3. Graduation :: Day (the song, that is)
4. Presents :: Birthday (odd considering it's Dec 24)
5. Toe :: Blake (think hockey)
6. Lotion :: Body
7. Snicker :: Chocolate (I don't even like them)
8. Eve :: Three Faces (think movie)
9. Investment :: Time
10. Pain :: Bread (I guess Toe Blake - see above - got me thinking in French)

Thinking politicans?

The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.

- H.L. Mencken

What happens when (with a little luck, and some mistakes on the part of politicians) some one of this ilk is actually elected to office?

Well, OK, it could actually happen

P89 Lockup! Fix Fix Fix.

AHA. It turns out that I wasn't paying enough attention. While allowing the slide to move forward slowly, the extractor spring was so strong, it was preventing the hook from clearing the cartridge rim, and the action wasn't locking up. The spring on the extractor is obviously pretty strong (yay) and the recoil spring wasn't heavy enough to push the slide all the way forward. I guess that's not a bad thing, as it means the extractor is probably excellent (certainly seems so).
BUT, the double-action trigger is still, after lots of working, about 9#. I would like to get it down to about 6-6.5.
Soooo, a 19# hammer spring, and a heavier recoil spring it is. Especially since now I'm not sure I trust the thing. No kB for me.

P89 Recoil guide.

I am beginning to suspect that Gargamel's recoil spring is not copacetic. Sometimes, when I cycle the action slowly (by hand), the guide rod does not retract into the slide completely. Not good. The cartridge might not seat properly and it could fire out-of-battery. KaBOOM! Definitely NOT GOOD. When I let the action cycle normally, it's fine.
Bad Spring! Bad Bad Spring! You can be replaced!
I might as well replace the mainspring with a Wolff's 19lb while I'm at it. We shall see.

Cirrus-Bow

Hmm. It's the little things, sometimes.
On the way home, after enduring considerable frustration at the renovation project, I was in a rotten mood. One things works, two things are broken, one thing gets fixed, three other things break...grrr. So here I am, trudging home (and I mean trudging), I look up at the very grey sky, thinking that it begins to reflect my state of mind, and...a sliver of a rainbow. Ha.
WAY up, probably in the cirro-stratus. What's more, it was invisible without the sunglasses I was wearing! So here I was, with my own personal cirrus-bow.
A message, perhaps?

Meyers-Briggs profile. Ha.

As if you couldn't tell...I come out as INTJ. And if you REALLY want to know what that means, here it is:

INTJs generally have the following traits:

· Able to absorb extremely complex theoretical and complex material
· Driven to create order and structure from theoretical abstractions
· Supreme strategists
· Future-oriented
· See the global, “big picture”
· Strong insights and intuitions, which they trust implicitly
· Think “outside the box”
· Value their own opinions over others
· Love difficult theoretical challenges
· Bored when dealing with mundane routine
· Value knowledge and efficiency
· Have no patience with inefficiency and confusion
· Have very high standards for performance, which they apply to themselves and others
· Reserved and detached from others
· Calm, collected and analytical
· Extremely logical and rational
· Original and independent
· Natural leaders, but will follow only those they can fully support
· Creative, ingenious, innovative, and resourceful
· Work best alone and prefer to work alone

And it fits like a glove, even though I try to hide it, and rarely admit any of it to non-family. I especially like the "supreme strategists" part. (I often fool with "Harpoon" - the naval strategy/tactics game - and some of the scenarios I can play so one-sidedly (is that a word?) as to be boring.)
I also used to be a member of the now-defunct Futures Research Society based in California. Hmmm. But who listens anyway?

---

Disturbed Xmas

I'm not sure whether some of these are funny or sad, especially in view of my ASpie-ish-ness; but for your edification - Xmas Carols for the disturbed (or is it FROM the disturbed?):

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder - I Three Kings of Orient Are
Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing about Me
Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and buses and Trucks and Trees and...
Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
Attention Deficit Disorder - Silent Night, Holy ooooh look at the Froggy, Can I Have a Chocolate, Why is France So Far Away?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

Antisocial personality disorder - We Wish You a Merry Christmas, a Long, Long Way Away From Here
Psychotic personality - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Cut Out Your Liver And Burn Down Your House
Drug-addicted - Angels We Have Heard While High
Alcoholic - Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer
Depressive - Silent Dark Black Night That Never Ends
Dyslexic - The Little Drummer Yob

SMS - j1N6L3 b3LLz r0xx!!!!LOL OMG ROFL!!111onety-one111!

Many thanks to "Momentary Lapses of Insanity" for this.

Possessions are of 2 classes.

My friend Richard Knight said something rather profound this afternoon.
As my previous post indicated, I had a theft problem earlier. And I was expounding to him on the questionable digestion and dubious parentage of the perpetrators.
So he said "You know, when you die, every thing you own goes into two categories - either your heirs fight over it, or they throw it out."
Now there's a dose of reality!

Thefts! *RCOB!

Well, last night about 11:00 pm, I heard a noise downstairs. Lo and behold, the 2 bicycles that were in the basement are gone! !@#$!#@$%%^^&
They weren't good bikes, they were given to me, and if anyone had bothered to ask, I would have given them away. I was planning on donating them to charity anyway.
BUT NO. Some ^&*(@ has to steal them instead.
And then, this morning, I go to the house I'm repairing, and I find that my drywall spreaders have been taken - undoubtedly by the Gary fellow that just moved out on the weekend. Not even good equipment, simple cheapo plastic stuff, but some &*(^^# decided they needed them more than I did. And I know I cannot prove a thing. RCOB!
I think I need a trip to the range with Gargamel (one of my Rugers), and a LOT of ammunition....
*RCOB - from Kim DuToit - Red Curtain of Blood

Now this is a little ridiculous!

It might even be true. But unlikely for an ASpie.

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Exploring

You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name. You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs. An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles. You show people how to question their models of the world.

What's Your Thinking Style?

Renovation Frustration

Some people's children!
I was over at the house I'm working on, and took out another 2 bags of garbage (LARGE bags of garbage). I took out two LARGE bags a couple of days ago. And it seems like I did exactly nothing. The way some people live!
Problem is, of course, that the cleaning, at least elementary cleaning, must be done before some of the renovation work can be started. Two of the bedrooms are still so full of junk that I cannot even get near the windows. Aargh. And I know the storm windows need work/repair/replacing. And it's starting to get cold outside. Canada does that in the winter!
Anyone have a spare dumpster?

Musicians' Survey - Ack.

Somebody at the University of Toronto (I think) is conducting a survey of working musicians. With the support of AFM Canada. And some of the musicians are commenting (mostly negatively) in one of the forums I subscribe to. I must admit to being one of the harsh critics.
Question: Why do idiots construct surveys about a business they know nothing about?
It's a further example of the "ivory tower syndrome" of academics, where they are so far removed from the pragmatic aspects of their subjects-of-research that their questions, and subsequent answers, are essentially useless.
In this particular case, it is impossible to proceeed more than 1/4 into the survey without either quitting, or fabricating answers to conform with their pre-determined choices.
The danger is, of course, that "experts" (the researchers) will then be in a position to pontificate concerning the business, with the attendant deleterious effects.
A PhD may be a union card, but it's certainly no indication of common-sense.

Blazin' - Joe Sanders

Well, this one's done! Another arrangement in the can.
Blazin', a tune written by Joe Sanders in the 1920's. Arranged for contemporary (well, sort-of) jazz band - Clarinet, Alto, 2 Tenors, 4 Trumpets, 3 Trombones, Piano, Bass, Drums.
Clips along, this one does, at quarter-note = 230. But, it should be playable by a decent university-level ensemble.
Happy dance!

Another ASpie sign - humor is as humor does.

I suddenly remembered another little trait that I have noticed for many years.
People often used to assume that I was joking when I was saying something serious, and thought that I was being serious when I was joking!
I have remarked on this to friends on occasion, I suppose more as a question - i.e. Why does this happen? Never got a useful answer.
OTOH, it has led to a useful "script" - I learn/remember jokes told by professional comics, and then practice them (OK, not that much practice). And I have acquired a little talent for telling jokes now. BTW, they are all the old style of joke, ala Henny Youngman or Groucho Max. Nice, short quickies, sometimes one-liners. And the old jokes are useful, because many people have never heard them. (Helps that I'm old enough to know them, hahaha, I guess.)
Personally I detest dirty jokes. The old saying used to be (among pros anyway) that if you have to be dirty to be funny, you're not funny. (e.g. Eddie Murphy is not funny.)
And it is Sooo gratifying to have people laugh when you actually planned it!

Fundamentalist Islam and Nazism.

The parallels are terrifying. Especially worrisome to me is the use of the "energies" of the lower-class youth to fuel the hatreds of the fundamentalists. Hitler did exactly that, too.
I would suggest, for those who think this is overstating the case, that they read the history of the rise of the Nazi party, and especially Mein Kampf. It's a textbook for the methods to power, and it's being used now, as we speak. (Need I remind anyone of the relative success of Nazism, and its dire consequences? Especially to those who embraced or accepted Nazism.)
Also distressing is the blindness of the press (in the US at least) to their use by fundamentalists. It would indeed be useful and enlightening if members of the press discovered their actual status as infidels before they were wiped out. It astounds me that they do not realize they are merely tools used to defeat themselves and the freedom of the press they so love to spout.
Fundamentalist Islam justifies genocide with the argument that infidels are not really human beings. I cannot accept that A___h demands death of one of his own creations rather than the freedom of that creation to determine its own eternal fate.

First Snow.

Well, it snowed a little this morning. And I mean a little. Just enough to be very scenic, but not enough to be a nuisance, let alone anything more substantial. It was very nice early, when there was no traffic to ruin it with noise and pollution. Sometimes, the world seems pretty good.

Bizarre Dream - Exorcism!

For those who may guess, the term "sodium dreams" comes from the fact that too much intake of sodium does two things to me: raises my blood pressure, and gives me dreams.
And last night was a good one! Totally bizarre, even by dream standards (at least mine, anyway).
I exorcised a demon, from myself into an amultet.
With some advice and encouragement from faceless friends, and the assistance of my SO, I used a broken (!?) rapier (sword) to flow the essence of the demon from me into a special stone that then held the demon, who was thenceforth unable to escape. The force required made me collapse and temporarily lose consciousness (in a dream no less!). The dream ended with me pondering how to care for, or dispose of, the stone so that the demon would never escape. (No, I could not break the stone, that would allow it to escape.)
Hmmm. As someone advised, it means that I can be the architect of my own salvation! I guess that certainly is a positive spin on that one.

Taliban and drugs.

Has anyone yet mentioned that the Taliban WANT drug production to escalate.
Obvious - let the infidel die from his own indulgence in sinful practices. And we get some cash as well. How can you beat that kind of deal? Money and Faith, both rewarded.

Arrangements - Hoorah

Well, it turns out that I have done more band arrangements than I thought. I just took a count, and 20 are complete!
Of course, that's not to say they are perfect, but they are playable, and in the main, pretty good (by my inestimable standards).
Yay me. Nice to have a feeling of accomplishment.