Scots Heritage - What?

Well, it's sad but true. My cousin did some genealogy research a while back and discovered that we have a right to our oatmeal pleasantries.
Specifically, there was a certain Wilkie (who knows what the real spelling was?) who was given a land grant by the Swedish Crown - probably for mercenary favours received - and promptly settled in the general area north-west of Karelia. That's my grandmother's family name, given some local variation over the years. Of course, this happened a little after 1400, so the blood runs a little thin. Anyway Scots it is, at least a little. (Always wondered why I feel comfortable in a kilt.)
All this in preparation for the following, taken from Bad Example http://www.badexample.mu.nu to show a few selected achievements by Scots over the intervening years. (All this accomplished without the benefit of our family presence!)
1410 - Drinky MacDrunkard discovered how to make single malt scotch. He was then beaten to death by his neighbors when they found out they had to wait 12 years before they could drink it.
1570 - Godawful MacScreechy conceived the idea for a new musical instrument [referring of course to "the pipes"] after getting drunk and accidentally setting fire to his cat.
1623 - The Scots invented money. That same year, they also invented tight-fisted skinflintery.
1697 - By a three-vote margin, the Scots lost the "Brawlingest Drunkards" award to the Irish. A title which the Irish still hold to this day. [My mother's family were all Lawlers, Carrs, Goodfellows and Spicers, from Queens County, so we win both ways!]
2257 - Montgomery Scott, beloved alcoholic engineer of the Starship Enterprise, started a bar fight with some Klingons at Space Station K-7, thus finally bringing honor and the "Brawlingest Drunkards" trophy back to Scotland.
So let's hear it for Tartan Day!
(PS - the Finns win at cursing, though. Check his blog.)