ASpie kids and what to do....

I was musing on the subject of what it was like to be an Aspie kid, when there was no such thing. And what it was like having parents that had no clue. Or even less.
I began to ruminate on what I learned about things to do and NOT to do as a parent. Most especially if your child is also gifted. Many are. I think I have some idea, since we have four of them. And they are all different. (They were different from each other even before they were born - never mind afterwards.) Not that I've done everything right (hahaha - bittersweet laughter) but lord knows I tried. Some might say I am very trying. Anyway...
First, be aware that there are many ways to be gifted, and they don't necessarily revolve around IQ. Try to identify the areas of giftedness (I personally prefer the term "talented"). Don't assume your strengths are also theirs. This is an area where nature wins out over nurture. Gifted ASpies are most definitely NOT a tabula rasa for you to mold. Learn something about their talents, and where they can go with them, what they can do. It may be physical, artistic, intellectual...
This will be expressed in some form in their interests (some would call it obsessions). Does it take the form of detail-orientation? Or does it take the form of organization?
Don't get personally obsessed with trying to keep up with them in their interests - you can't! But be interested. In essence, let them know that their interests are valid. They certainly will not be your interests, but, hey, you may learn something interesting also. With me, it was chess, astronomy, baseball (I had a good curve-ball).
Ok, enough - that could be a VERY long book. Be open, that's good for starters.
Second. This is related in a subtle way. Try to make home a "haven", a crib, where it is safe for them and safe for them to pursue their interests. And I don't mean physically safe, altjough that should be obvious.
Psychically safe. Safe from criticism, safe from insecurity, safe FROM YOU. The world is hard enough on an ASpie. They need a hideaway, a warm place as Ronnie Gaylord used to say. Do your best to give it to them.
Discipline is especially hard on an ASpie. The world is often unfriendly, and they make mistakes. They need the security of knowing you won't punish them too. Personally, I never got that. In fact, I got the opposite. And there are memories that will NEVER die. And scars that last forever. ASpies have unusually long memories.
Third, the most challenging - try to help. An ASpie world is its own place, and guessing how to help out can be difficult. ASpies don't necessarily let you in, even though they may want to. They just don't know how, so you will need to do some guesswork. But DO NOT PUSH. (Don't try dragging them either.)
An ASpie's world is different. Get over it. But look for family things that can be done together. They may be exactly "together", but close enough is good enough. Look for ways to expose them to things with a family setting, where they can feel comfortable exploring (see number two above). But don't assume they will explore the things you planned, or in the ways you planned. That's OK. Let it happen. Just watch and protect.
Fourth. Forgive your own mistakes. They will.
OK, enough rambling for now.